In infertility, the only constant is waiting. Waiting for the cycle to end, the 12th day for scanning, 13th day for trigger shot, 14th day for IUI...2ww...rinse and repeat. I suppose the list drags on with IVF...and so how do I shut off the mind's endless thoughts? It's only been 17 months of trying at point of typing this and I already feel worn out. I don't deny hitting all time lows and doubting everything, surely I was tormenting the people around me with the negativity.

Join a network

I joined a closed group based in Singapore via Singapore Motherhood.We started a whatsapp group and everyone regardless of age and religion was all on the same arduous journey. This journey only got better because of this.

Start a devotional journey

I started a 365 day walk with God, though Philip Yancey's daily devotional - Grace Notes. Food for thought and I am trying to keep my walk regular, and keep notes on the verses that would help on bad days. 

Amazon became my BFF when the local bookstore did not stock any of the infertility titles, the other ran out of it. Looks like we are all silent warriors. And I particularly remember this episode at the bookstore when I asked for specific titles, they did not stock them and the book store seller went on to probe which particular genre I was looking for. "Parenthood" was all I managed before being forced to reply "Fertility." I wish I mustered enough courage to say "Infertility" but my cheeks burned when he replied me at the top of his thunderous voice - we don't stock books on fertility. 

Some titles that I purchased but took almost forever to reach me,

Waiting for God to fill the cradle by Eric and April Motl
Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake

Pray

I believe in God and I have been trying to count my blessings in this journey. There is nothing quite like the happiness derived from an answered prayer. Yet these are all in His time.

Somewhere I read that Hebrews 11 is also known as the faith chapter.