So...the second IUI worked for us afterall. The spotting I encountered was implantation bleeding and the spotting is well unexplainable. It got so heavy at some point that the ladies in my support group were nudging me to get a blood test done immediately and to think I was still hemming and hawwing after a stronger positive showed up the morning of 13 dpiui.

The Pee Test

And I did, schedule one on the morning of 14 dpiui thinking that it was all too early to even notify the doc. The massive discharge of dark chocolate brown at 11am ish on 13 dpiui scared the shit out of me, literally. Thankfully I was able to get myself seen at 2pm.

The nurses were so nice about it, including teaching me how to use their pee sticks, though I have already pee-ed on so many test kits since the start of this journey..having to do it at the hospital was a different ball game altogether. Aiming with your pee, has to be another of those circus calibre traits I've mastered.

We are PREGNANT, so says the pee test. Had a HSG test also scheduled in the same day to parrot the same conclusion and subsequently a vaginal scan since I was spotting.

4 weeks and 3 days old the lil speck is at the first scan and until the sixth week scan then! For now, we are calling it "the speck", it's so tiny now...the size of a poppy seed! Being on assisted does take away the whole guess work and surprise of finding it out from a pee test only...yet I can only say - better than a negative test! For sure I had better ways in my mind to inform the Hubba about this piece of news, just shows overplanning gets me nowhere once again.

The viability scan

It's heartbreaking thinking how one could see a sac and not be viable two weeks later. Glad things worked out for us and the heartbeat was detected through a flicker at week 5 ish and finally confirmed its viability at week 6, 3 days.

The Bed Rest

My first MC was 3 days and then extended to the following week - 10 days for the record in this first trimester. I defied the bed rest orders for the first couple of days and ended up with heavier spotting - BOO. Which subsequently escalated to bleeding, an A and E visit in the middle of the night and declared a state of threatened miscarriage.

My planned December holidays were put on hold - and cancellations involved. Very very very bummed, when December had always been my favouritest season of the year because there was so much about Christmas that I loved and prepared for it so many weeks before, months even.  

And now? Anything for the speck, unfortunately. 

And at point of writing and re-writing I have been on bed rest for a 6 weeks. It does not get easier, unfortunately. The kind of doubt, fear and uncertainty that clouds the mind is terrifying. The days that I woke up happy and cheery were getting fewer by the count and the rest I'd rather classify as emotionally very challenging.

I don't consider myself an active person, before all these I was embarking on a fitness challenge, 10,000 steps a day and trying to build some abs on my home exercise mat with occasional Zumba sessions. I loved going out, so much. Possibly an extrovert for 80% of the time. And suddenly, I was relegated to the sofa in the day and bed at night, going to church was a treat and a car ride so precious. Visits to the hospital for visits and jabs became my only source of getting out of the house. If there's such a thing as cabin fever, I must have suffered from that since day one.

Bi-weekly jabs

Sorry, the pureton jabs hurt like a bitch unfortunately. An oil based jab, one that pierces the skin and releases a thick liquid that causes numbing, one episode of hives and several episodes of discomfort. All through week 12 I had them and all I could do was countdown to the last. 

When does spotting stop?

The big question that nobody had answers for. Not even the specialist himself. Turns out spotting is so common, and I being a commoner had to have it.

I spotted from 4 weeks, 5 weeks...6 weeks and approaching 7...every scan only showed that there was still bleeding inside.

And I suppose the mother of frustration comes because I could lie in bed all day and still spot like I moved all day at the bewitching bastardy hour. It was devastating.

Finally at week 8 did things start to normalise..and Minimal movement and sitting on the bed with my lappy above the tummy is my favourite activity though the Hubba thinks I'd squash the speck that way. Right....

On and off spotting until Week 10 and the day I returned to work, it got heavier. Hrmpf.

Threatened abortion...what?

The mother of bleeds happened twice at Week 5 and 13, both occasions had us dashing to Accident and Emergency almost immediately. Not fun at all when the doctors could not even tell me where and how it happened. It happens to some unlucky people, and some bleed throughout....well I suppose I had that brush of bad luck. Back onto the bed for more rest. :(

Medically, the diagnosis stung like hell.

Threatened abortion.

What other signs?

Apart from insomnia, spotting and morning sickness that hit me twice with dizziness, I breezed through the first 10 weeks quite comfortably. That heightened sense of smell was absolutely gross. I actually smelt the oil at the old chang kee stand when it was considered "pleasant" by the mothership. Wuttt???

My food intake had definitely shrunk but so many meals a day!? AND...it's all carbs...AND...dessert and I aren't exactly BFFs anymore. BOO.

A typical day's meal plan during my Hospitalization Leave went this way -

830am - Overnight oats with kiwi
1130am - Laughing cow cheese and bread
130pm - Lunch of glutinous rice/nasi lemak/anything packed with energy
330pm - Otah and bread
6pm - Chips
7pm - Pasta/Pizza/Rice and an icecream if the appetite allows though really hardly
1030pm - Milk/Cheese spread and bread

Cycle repeats! Under normal circumstances I'd have inserted a dessert at the end of lunch and dinner!

Insomnia was not to be trifled with and definitely no fun. While everyone konked out by 9pm, I'd be counting my stars and sheep at past midnight...I'd be lucky if I got to bed by 2am. RAWR...suddenly the day before I hit week 10, I succumbed to the zzz monster at 930pm!

Bloatedness and constipation started at week 10 promptly, it was a huge bummer that golden kiwis (my life saver to date) were tailing off in season. ACK!

Puke episodes...not fun at all. Toilet bowl hugging was more apparent for me later in the trimester. YIKES. 

Weird cravings...

And while I had a normal meal plan without gagging half the time, the cravings were all carbo related. Mcmuffin, Mcspicy, Avocado rolls, Hokkien Mee, Nasi Lemak, Bak Chor Mee, Wanton Mee and also Curry Puff count.

Where's the sweet cravings???

OSCAR test

Scheduled during week 12, this caused alot of concern. Having come so far, if there was a chance of termination, it would crush us so bad. :(

I wish NUH offered Panorama test though, we would be able to tell the gender too!

With that we bade goodbye to the worrisome first 13 weeks. PHEW!