Dear Cyrus,

You are a big brother now...and this transition has been so tough for you. Mama knows and since blobbie's days you knew from day one that someone would be coming along and you already made it known to us you knew, in your little ways.

I know you feel lost, bewildered and all feelings of negativity no matter how hard we try to reassure you that nothing changes - we love you the same if not more, nobody's going anywhere but routines had to change.

You acted up before Celeste came along, actually the weeks leading up to her arrival and we all hoped this would pass faster than we know. The day she was born, you cried buckets when Popo showed you her first video and then developed a fever later that day. The first night she came back you cried so hard for Popo and Gong Gong, I cried along with you. We hugged each other to sleep but that did not stop you waking and screaming your head off. If only you knew, you knew how much it hurt me to see you cry...

You were less of yourself in school and the teachers all knew. :( Even at your combined birthday celebration with your friends you were mostly quiet, totally unlike the you that the aunties and uncles know. We prayed so hard that there'll be acceptance in your heart, slowly and surely my cheeky little boy will be back in action.

As much as mama wants a sibling for you to play and grow up with, I hope these intentions never get misconstrued.  You will always be our first born, that special individual who will not be judged because you're more mischievous, more cheeky...Routines may change, the order of doing things may change...our tone towards you may change but please always remember, we still love you like we did the day we discovered we are finally pregnant, we still love you like we never had children before....we still want to witness your every milestone the same way Mama documented those first 365 days with a photo everyday.

Two weeks on, we are definitely in a better place than when we started...baby steps all the way! It warms my heart when you ask for meimei the minute you reach home and while you expect her to be up and playing with you now, she will soon!

Love you more than you can comprehend and ever know,
Mama.